This holiday season has not held back on taxing the strength of a mom/student/worker/over-achiever. I have found that I listen to the radio less and enjoy the silence of the car more. Today I looked at my daughter and saw a baby that I barely know. She still freaks out and crawls to me when I come through the door, but when we look face to face I can see her questioning eyes staring into my heart. So I decided: this December is going to be one to remember. This will be my last holiday working as a retail manager, this will be the last year I let thoughts of depression consume me, this is the last year (moment) that I let the devil steal my joy. I have a wonderful and loving family that I am missing out on because of things I call "life" and "necessary." My family should be my life. I am working so hard that I have not enjoyed the life I struggled so much to build. This December I will remind myself to not be defeated, I will take hold of the happiness that has always been hiding inside me, I will let myself enjoy pastries, and I will crawl under the Christmas tree with my children every night. This December will be my first step into the next year...the greatest year for the Grays (yet). We will continue to walk the path that God has placed in front of us and we will walk with conviction and purpose. This December I will remember my fallen friend and the family members that are still lost and yet to be saved. This December I will remember....
