Your One Great

I watched a movie tonight. A horrible, beautiful, manifested, realistic, depiction of fantasy and love thrown into 116 minutes of crying, over-sized sweaters, and horrible haircuts.
I fell in love.
I fought it. I truly did, but this wonderful suffrage reminded me of a "once love." The only time I've been able to look into someone's eyes (other than my children) and just be in awe at how much I love him. Because THAT kind of love is different from all others. It births itself in your core, deep inside your soul right next to your morals and the memory of how your grandma's house smells, and it lives there until the right person comes along and digs it out. You don't really ever realize that you're not feeling love until suddenly one day, you can feel everything.
You feel the wind,
you feel silence,
you feel the creases in the back of their hand,
you feel your hair move when you walk down the street,
you feel sweet kisses,
you feel the warmth of the moonlight and the cool breeze of the sun
you feel orange juice
you feel leaves falling
you feel everything
Suddenly, you know love.
You know it for all that it is in the way God intended it to be felt. He planted it in you and suddenly it's alive.
That's what this movie reminded me of. And now I'm awake, attempting to replicate a feeling that's been lost to me for quite some time now. Which, I don't even think it's fair to categorize what I experienced into a "feeling" because I experienced it more like a MOVEMENT. I was completely picked up and relocated physically and emotionally, in an unbelievable way.

Now, I grasp for romantic movements under the moon while I drive home with all the windows down and my arms hanging out of my sunroof. I allow myself to drift away during loud conversations because I've accidentally pulled a significant memory from my file of the "too much memory stored" bank in my head. I stop mid stride and attempt to shake away thoughts of hand holding.

I loathe love, but am completely in love and infatuated with it all at the same time. The most frightening realization is that moment when it's gone. Is that it? Do you only get one? Are we only given one great love in this wonderfully short period of time on Earth? What do we do once it's gone? Was that person our "one great" if they leave us?

My "one great"...well, that's an unfiltered story for my book and another sleepless night with the moon.