Worthy is the Lamb

Worth.
When promptly looked up on my handy spotlight app on my laptop, worth is defined as:
(adj)- sufficiently good, important, or interesting to justify a specified action; deserving to be treated or regarded in the way specified
or
(noun)-the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration; the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated
Taking these definitions into consideration, I have realized that self worth is not defined by how others value you, but how you intrinsically consider your own worth.

My life seems to be a constant movement of God saying, "If you thought THAT was hard, wait until you go through THIS." I've found myself questioning God and others with "Why me?" (even though I already know the answer). There is no one who could go through the life that I have gone through and still be able to thrive. Not my life. We are all given a life that is unique to us, to our souls. When God created us, He created us already knowing the decisions we would make, if they would be right or wrong. He also knew who we would hurt and who would hurt us. He allowed them to be brought into our lives, sometimes we welcomed these people too easily and that's on us. Because even though He knows all these things, He also gives us ways out. It's what we humans like to call "red flags." The moments God gives us clarity and we continue to allow the treatment because we don't believe we are worthy of better. This feeling of unworthiness is birthed through multiple circumstances. Maybe something happened when we were younger, a relationship that killed our hope, the death of someone we love, abandonment from family. The list of issues that cause diminishing worth can start small, but the truth is that it manifests into something greater than we are ever aware of. It sneaks up on us, it creeps up our backs and whispers in our ears as we ignore the events, they become white noise. We grow accustomed to the monotony circumstantial pain.

We sensationalize the pain and reinvent what we call it, "lessons." Because of this we willingly allow ourselves to be taught that pain is a norm. Our teachers (those who continue to hurt us) create lessons out of play books that have been handed down to them from those who have taught them about the lessons of pain. To them, our pain is normal. Days full of heartache are territorial and if we can't handle the pain; there's another "lesson" for that. We are trained that our perception of self worth is false and after years of painful lessons, we begin to believe our teachers. Pain is a norm. Carrying the burden of heartache is an expectation. Formulated moments of happiness are rare. Our worth is fictional.

The truth.
Happiness is not formulated, it is...
Happiness is
Gratefulness in the morning
Breathing in fresh air when you first open your door
Clean hair
Children laughing at your laugh
Soft touches when you feel you're weakest
Barefeet in sand
Warm blankets out of the dryer
Coffee in the morning
Cold sheets at night
A pillow that's "just right"
Being under the arms of someone who was molded for you
Knowing the flaws of your lover's face
Loving the flaws of your lover's face

The truth
We are all worthy.